Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet.
As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet.
Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in.
"That's the first time I've ever seen carp-to-carp walleting," remarked one of the fisherman.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Three old ladies were confronted by a flasher.
The first had a stroke, and the second had a stroke but the third wouldn't touch it.
A distinguished linguistics professor was lecturing on the phenomenon of
double negatives. As he neared the end of his talk, he drew himself up and
declared solemnly:
In conclusion, let me observe that while there are numerous cases where a
double negative conveys a positve, there is no case where a double positive
conveys a negative.
Whereupon, from the back of the room, arose a small voice dripping with
disdainful condescension:
Yeah, yeah...
Q: How many movie actresses does it take to change a lightbulb?A: One, but you should've seen the line outside the producer's hotel room.
There was 2 blondes walking down the street, when they came across a mirror laying on the ground, one blonde pickes it up and says, "hey, this person looks really fimilar!?" so the other blonde says,"here let me see." she looks and says,"you dummy thats me!"
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.167. Put out a plate of cookies at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the cookies while your roommate is asleep. The next morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks. Grumble angrily and storm out of the room.