A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.Joe again prays..."God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.Once again, he prays..."My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
Dumb Criminal at the Photo Mart
Roland Tough, 22, dropped off a roll of film to be developed at a Tesco supermarket in England. When employees looked at the resulting prints, they recognized the men in the photos as the thieves who had robbed the store two weeks before, now posing with their loot from the robbery. Police arrested Tough when he came back to pick up his pictures. He said he had taken the photos to "show friends in prison how well he was doing."
Charles Manson
Charles Manson has released a statement from prison on hearing Jackson was acquitted, "Thank God we won't be in the same cell together, that guy is nuts."
yo momma is so fat you have to grease the...
yo momma is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side to get her threw
yo momma so fat she woke up and fell off on both sides of the bed
yo momma is so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her as the new world
yo momma so fat she sat on the toilet and if it could talk it would say abcdefg get your fat butt off of me hijklmnop hurry up your squishing me
God's time and money
A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God. While he was praying, he asked God, "How long is 10 million years to you?"
He replied, "1 second."
The next day the preacher asked God, "God, how much is 10 million dollars to you?"
And God replied, "A penny."
Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, "God, can I have one of your pennies?"
And God replied, "Just wait a sec."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown